Yup, it was the day I have been looking forward to for 364 days. I am always excited the day before a pap smear because I know what to expect. It is always such a BLAST to have all of your dignity taken away from you once a year.The Pap technique was developed by and named after a MAN George Papanicolaou (1883-1962), a Greek-born MAN and scientist MAN who moved to the U.S. In 1923, while looking at vaginal smears from women with cervical cancer, Papanicolaou saw cancer cells. After two decades of research on this subject, he reported in 1943 that both cervical and uterine cancer could be detected in their early stages with this test that has, since its inception, saved innumerable lives.
I TRULY wanted to personally thank George for the development of the Pap, and let him know how completely comfortable this test is. Thank you for inventing that balloon thing that gets shoved up your vagina and pumped up until you BLOODY explode! Thank you for inventing the BIG ASS paint brush that scraps the lining of your cervix like FRIGGIN Edward Scissor Hands. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the invention of the pap smear! All women are completely impressed by your ability to TORTURE.
Actually, we are blessed to have such a modern day marvel to be able to detect cancer early on. It would be great though if a women would have developed the pap. I think it would be 100% less grueling.
6 comments:
Heather you are so funny!! I laughed my ass off! Really though when I saw your picture of Edward, some parts of me were a little uncomforable. Enough said.
See-ya-
h.a.
Ditto to Holly's comments ! ! ! . . .I totally laughed my big fat a_ _ off and baby, that's a lot of laughing. That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time - thanks for making it completely CLEAR to all MALES within blogging distance. Okay, now I can uncross my legs!
Well said, woman and BECAUSE you ARE a woman . . .YOU KNOW!
Ok...this is funny. try bringing brian with you next time. it is strange to have your husband sitting in the room just watching while you get violated in such a way!
hahahaha! i swear, it's sooo not fair what we have to go thru compared to men.
excuse me while i go scream at my kids for nothing, i think my auntie flow is coming to visit soon...
AUNTIE FLOW . . .! ! ! ! I love it! My AUNTIE FLOW went away and has never been back . . .let me go yell at my husband only because I miss YELLING, PERIOD ! ! ! !
You are soooo funny. I just had that little visit taken care of myself. I myself am a believer in Karma. Someday, somehow Men will get theirs. We just have to wait and endure until then (CRAP! Not fair I know.) but we are after all the tougher sex anyway. Everybody knows that....
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